Monday, May 21, 2012

Capture Beauty



Just wanted to drop in and showcase some of my cousin's latest work. She did an impromptu photo session at my older cousin's wedding a few weeks back and I must admit she's got mad skills. I'm so proud and I love the work she did. It was impromptu but I think it still came out great. Love her! You can't find her at:





I encourage ya'll to stop by and take a look at her work....Greater things are soon to follow!









                                                                                                                        Ciao Lovelies,


                                                                                                                                    MS.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

On a Journey We Will Go.......



Soooooo I’ve officially hit my one month mark with my personal training sessions. Ya’ll best believe it’s been a rocky road!!! However, a couple of days ago I stumbled upon what I looked like in December 2011…..can we say whooooooooaaa!! (Mind you that was 5 months ago) I was shocked because I didn't know how I looked like this or better yet how I was oblivious as to how I looked. Ayyyy Dios!!!! 

But it does explain my aversion to full length pictures. (I’ve never been confident enough about my body in order to do so). However, if I'd taken some before December 2011 I may have discovered what was really going on. Can we say "reality check!" 


Granted, I am nowhere near where I would like to be but it seems as though I’ve made some progress. I know this weight loss journey was supposed to begin back in January, well actually it was supposed to begin a few years back but I always let something get in the way. I’m determined not to do that ever again.  

Anywho I’m sure  ya'll are waiting for the photos  so I’ll post them shortly. I’ll mention that my eating habits aren’t exactly on par but that will be the next step in my journey . I’ve got to get a handle regarding my food intake and sugar intake so I've got to do whatever it takes!! Anywho I won’t prolong any longer. The first photos are from December 2011 and the next set of photos are from April of 2012. Mind you, I’ve been truthfully on the journey since February and I’ve basically just been exercising more. I’m just recently starting to get a handle on my eating. Ok..ok..ok..here are the pics…lol…..



12.06.11

12-6-11

04-21-12

04-21-12

Same Black Dress 05-01-12
So I'm still on my way to getting it right....getting it tight....but I'm glad I took pictures....So I know what I left behind me and can focus on where I'm trying to be. #Determined 




                                                                                                                        Smooches and Love,


                                                                                                                                       MS.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Get It Right....Get It Tight!!!


Hey all! Hope your days have been filled with splendidness. (Is that a word?...lol) Anywho, so I've been out and about trying to remember what it's like to be "single again." (Shout out to Trina!! Lol!) 

And I must say, its a new day and the fine-ness abounds! Fine in my opinion, comes in all shapes, sizes, colors and numerous levels of amazing-ness. My eyes have been blessed with the viewing pleasure of pure deliciousness.

Since I've been checking out what's on the market I realized its time to re-vamp my weight loss goals and make sure my fine is equal to the fine I seek. Of course I want this fine-ness to be both on the inside and outside. I've been categorized as "damaged goods" but the past is the past and it's time to leave it there. 


Today marks week 3 with my personal trainer. He is certainly amongst one of the finest (hence my motivation to go to the gym). 

The story with the trainer goes as follows: 

- Week 1 was trying as h-e-double hockey sticks to say the least. 

- Week 2 he called me "evil" and said he'd never met another like me (Somehow, I don't think he  
meant  it in a good way!) Lol!I do what I can! 

- And Week 3 well we shall see what it holds. I'm trying to be on my best to behavior. I've got a few  
          more weeks with this dude. Might as well get it in since I paid my money.  Well that's my motto at  
          least.

As far as a difference in my body I've noticed that my muscle mass has likely increased which is always the first thing that happens with me. I will gain before I  lose. I don't understand the dynamics but nonetheless...when it comes to my thighs my bestie has deemed me #linebacker status thighs. I'm not sure I view it as a compliment. Lol! 

But I am trying to work on my legs and my core because those are my most problematic areas. However, I did notice that there was some "swellage" in my booty area, must be all those squats and lunges he has me doing.  With that being said, I'll take booty swelling and stomach shrinking for 500 please!" I kid. I kid. (Ok, I don't kid that much. Lol..who doesn't want a J. Lo. Booty!..lol)  I'm not sure I'll ever be "skinny" and it's really not what I want to be. I really just want to "niiicce." Thick in all the right places. 

In an effort to reduce my core (jiggly stomach) I've decided to incorporate exercises that will aim at strength and reduction. If you have any suggestions on core exercises that work, let me know I'd love to try them out! Just let me know! Anywho we shall see what Day 1 of Week 3 with the  with Mr. Trainer brings.

Hopefully he'll get it right...get it tight...and I'll be nice. #Dare to Dream.




Besos to all,
MS. 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Closure......




Food and Men. Two things that have plagued my body and damaged my sense of self-worth. Food and Men. Two things that for so long have controlled my feelings, emotions and thought process. Minuscule moments of happiness are what each has given me. Nothing long term. Nothing long-lasting.

I’ve so easily and freely given all of myself to them only to get little to nothing in return. The feelings of elation they provide are only temporary and ultimately the results are the same. Both lie about the happiness they will bring only to me confused and upset in the end.

I’ve drowned my thoughts into a bag of candy. Its sweet goodness, like crack, providing a temporary high to my feigning body. I’ve poured my heart out to a man and sought desperately for his love. Through tense lips he whispered a forced “I love you “looking at me with cold eyes and a face blank and unchanged. Yet in my mind our feelings for one another were the same. #Fail….Lol.

Thoughts constantly played out in my mind screaming “You deserve better,” “You’re worth more!” Yet I drowned the words out with the deafening crunching of potato chips, my grease laden hands wiping away my overflow of tears.

I wrote him sweet notes and bestowed gifts upon him “just because;” only to have him struggle to remember my favorite color, completely forget my birthday and ultimately forgot my existence in the end.

Food and Men. Vices of my life. These two things have haunted me for the majority of my life. I’ve succumb to their enticing beckoning only to be betrayed as the numbers on the scale skyrocketed. I believed each man’s half-hearted attempt at dating me only to be devastated. Because while I treated him as my world, he quickly made it clear that to him I was just another girl.

I’ve allowed these two things to reign in my life. Permitting their unworthy, undeserving and unfulfilling energy to linger for far too long. I’ve allowed the cycle to persist far longer than I ever should have.

So I’ve come to a cross road. I must bid each adieu. The manner in which we currently co-exist has to cease and desist. Neither has been truly beneficial for me so our relationship must be severed. And I must begin anew.

Sorry I’ve been MIA. But as you may be able to tell, it’s been a rough month for me. This blog piece pretty much sums up why I’ve been residing at Heartbreak Hotel. It’s a long story but it’s finally over. So I’m hoping this will be the last sappy piece from me for a while. This should be all the closure I need. Now that it’s off my chest hopefully I can just get the heck on with my life ……….


                                                                                                                             Happiness Awaiteth,
                                                                                                                                                      


                                                                                                                                              MS.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Amor...




I go to bed each night
Thinking thoughts of you
Wondering how your day was 
What clothes you wore
How you styled your hair
What cologne you chose to wear

Hoping, that I, too,  crossed your mind 
If not once, maybe twice

I close my eyes and breathe deep breaths of you
Intoxicated by just the thought of holding you 
touching you 
and
knowing you

I wake each morning 
And say a prayer for you 
Hoping you know how much I love you
Knowing that one day I'll be able to hold you 


Although we have yet to meet 
When that day arrives I'll rest assured that love was meant between you and I


With no doubt in my mind 
Because our love will be designed 
Real...True 
One of a Kind  

Until that day comes
I'll simply continue to dream, pray, and wait for you......
My one,
My only, 
My Everything
...You...


Future Hubby Thoughts....


                                       Yo Te Amo,

                                             MS


Monday, February 20, 2012

Summer...Summer...Summertime!



To feel 'fit as a fiddle', you must tone down your middle.

-Unknown





So I did it. 45 minutes on the treadmill…. and….. wait for it……….About 10 minutes of jogging. I know it says 42 minutes but I accidentally pushed 40 minutes when I began and I didn't want to start over so I just did an additional three minutes when that was over. 

I tried doing intervals so I wouldn't get so tired and ended up doing more than I had initially set out to do. So yay I did it! I'll admit that during the first 20 minutes I became bored and discouraged. But instead of giving up, I turned up the volume on my Pandora reggaeton station (don't judge me) and kept it moving.  



That pool is what I got to look at while I was on the treadmill.  I must admit it was true motivation. Suddenly, it dawned on me that summer is fast approaching and your girl right here wants to actually be able to go to the pool. I don’t know about most of you but I have always avoided pools because of my weight.  But things must change this summer.

I admit that as I looked out into that pool I envisioned myself out there parlaying and soaking up the sun (with proper SPF of course). Visions of grandeur I know…but I’ve decided it’s what I want for myself this summer. So tomorrow I will be off to the gym to do it all over again after work of course because tomorrow is my first day…YAY!!



SURGE OF THE DAY: I'll be getting it in at the gym tomorrow so that I’m able to make healthy look good on me!


 I've got to keep reminding myself of this.

                                                                                                Dreaming a little Dream,

                                                                                                                    MS.


Once and For All


I got a job ya’ll!! Two weeks and God did it! It’s not a permanent gig but it’s a door that God has opened and I’m walking through until the next window of opportunity springs forth. And I am assured it will.

Sooooo…….(drum roll please) Alright…Alright…Alright….I must say it….I’m tired of complaining about my body and all the things that I find wrong with it. Since I’ve got a problem with my body (a big one btw; that girl in the mirror…Yup she’s my biggest nemesis). But since I have a problem, there’s nothing I can do but resolve it. Right? I mean come on I created the monster and now its time to bring her down to size (ha ha ha…well I thought it was funny ….#sigh…lol)

HOWEVER, I am not about to begin writing a list of Do’s and Don’ts because I have consistently ended up with a super long list of  “should’ve”, “could’ve”,” would’ve’s.” And I so conveniently end up with a list of things I WANTED to do.  So I’ll deem them affirmations or Surges if you will.  I will note them as soon as they pop into my mind. I already have one for tomorrow…ooh yes I do! Can you guess it???

SURGE OF THE DAY: I will do at least 45 minutes on the treadmill tomorrow and run for at least 3 minutes (maybe not consecutively…and I know it doesn’t seem like a lot but with the junk in my trunk three minutes is a great feat) Wish me well ya’ll.  



On a side note, this photo is probably one of the rare “kinda” “sorta” body shots that I’ve taken of myself or allowed others to take of me. But I needed something to get me motivated and this is definitely a starting point.                                                                            

                                                                                                                                       Kiss…Kiss Ya’ll,
                                                                     
                                                                                                                                                 MS.

PS: Dear Sexiness-I’m on my way #getting_It_In

Friday, February 10, 2012

Monif C. Yippie!




Be still my heart. Monif C. has just revealed the Spring 2012 Collection and I must admit I’m in lust! My eyes are drawn to the rich, bright, colors that pop and the beautiful styles. These dresses are sure to flatter any curvy diva’s figure. I narrowed it down to four of my faves and feel that I could definitely rock these dresses to the fullest come Spring. Although cloudy days are currently in the sky I’m beckoning Mr. Sun so that I can rock one of these fierce dresses! #LovingIt

                               
                                                                                                                             Dreaming of Working It,
                                               
                                                                                                                                          Madame Surge 

Blue Ivy Carter: Isn’t She Lovely!


Beyonce revealed her and Jay-Z's precious doll for the entire world to see. Blue Ivy certainly bears resemblance to the Knowles family and reminds me of Juelz, Beyonce’s nephew.  I can admire the Carters for providing a peak into their child’s life as opposed to allowing a magazine to do it for them. I commend them for refusing to monetize their child’s life. Congrats again to the Carters and welcome to the world Blue Ivy!  




To see the rest of the pics go to http://helloblueivycarter.tumblr.com/

                                                                                                                           XOXO,
    
                                                                                                                               Madame Surge



Saturday, February 4, 2012

If They Knew Where I was Going, They’d Never Let Me Go…



Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.

~Booker T. Washington~


Never did I imagine that by making this my e-mail signature line over 5 years ago this quote would have such a presence in my life. Little did I know but this would be the motto of much of my life. As the situations of my life  began to unfold I found myself replaying this quote in my mind time and time again.

Greatness. It crosses my mind every day. It’s what I aspire toward. It’s what I strive for. It’s what I yearn to leave behind as a legacy. As I mentioned earlier, I had my exit interview from my previous job today. 

Initially, I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to hear what they had to say. In my mind, what had been done was exactly that…Done. I was ready to move on and forget that I’d ever even walked into that building. But 
I knew I couldn’t give them the benefit of feeling as though they defeated me. I’d spent several months taking their side bar comments and dealing with constant ridicule and I couldn't allow them to feel as though they succeeded.

You see, to most people who don't know me characterize me as that quiet person in the bunch (however those who know me beg to differ) but to those peeps at my job I was the “quiet one.” And in my profession, unfortunately, quiet often equates to unintelligent.  Yeah. That’s what they think. However, I’ve seen quite a few people talk a lot and say absolutely nothing. And in the alternative I’ve seen individuals evoke powerful thoughts with just a few short words.

But I digress. So I went to the exit interview and told them exactly how I felt and exactly what I had experienced during my time at the workplace.  And apparently I wasn’t the first to be concerned with what was going on. I was informed that some changes were about to be made and I can honestly say I couldn’t be any happier. It’s not a revenge thing its moreso a do what’s right type of mentality. 



I find it unfortunate that we are in 2012 and ignorance still runs rampant in workplaces. I’m glad I had the opportunity to state my peace today and now I can move on to bigger and greater things. I’ve worked too hard and overcome far too many obstacles not to seek out greatness.

I clothe myself with greatness each day and exude confidence despite my current circumstance. I know that my time at that job was only for a season.  And I have learned in my lifetime that greatness can’t be attained if you’re not willing to work hard and move forward in spite of adversity. #On_To_The_Next

                                                                                                                Onward and Upward,
                                                                                                                                   
                                                                                                                                          MS.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Tales of The Unemployed- What's A Girl To Do?




This realization that I have lost my job is slowly starting to sink in. I feel like one of those divorced NBA Housewives that actually had a pre-nup. I know, I know… #dramatic_much.  But I do feel like I was accustomed to a certain status of living and suddenly I’m back in the poor house. Ok, I’ll cease with the melodrama.

I know this situation is only temporary and I will continue my pursuit towards greatness. And I know God did this for a reason, and although I may not understand it, I know he will bring me through it. Yup, that’s called Faith. Believe it or not I actually have a lot of it; it just gets hidden by my pessimism at times.

Although the majority of my day is filled with job searching, I know I must find other things to do. I’ve decided that I really want to do all those things I wasn’t able to do while I was employed and unhappy.  Like read what I want to read. Learn something new. Blog. Clip Coupons. Cook. Exercise. Work on my vision. Or better yet discover my vision.

I figure I better do what I need to right now because the next endeavor I take on in life will be my career; it will be what drives me. I’ve been praying and asking God to show me what my calling is. It’s a shame but I’ve spent 20 odd years of my life obtaining several degrees, amassing tons of debt, and just “being” yet I still don’t know what that girl is in the mirror is supposed to be doing. #No_Bueno at all.

It’s Day 2 of Tales of the Unemployed and I’m still job-less but I’m far from hopeless. I view this as a period of time that will provide an opportunity for personal growth and maturity. I’m a firm believer that although I’m currently in a mess, in the end I’ll be given a message.

                                                                                                                    Faithfully Yours, 
                
                                                                                                                                   Madame Surge
                                                                                                                                                                    
                                                                                                                                                                                     

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Single, Sexy & Unemployed #Still_Winning





Well I said I wasn’t going to make any NYE Resolutions and good thing I didn’t. This year is definitely off to a festive start. I’ve struggled through this job for several months and the obviously my "amazing" wasn't recognized or appreciated because after several months of struggle they decided to “release” me.

Who does that?! Release? What does that mean? Set me free to fly amongst the eagles?!  Maybe they meant releasing me from captivity. Because that’s what it’s felt like I’ve been in for several months. I’ve been held captive and I’ve been far from captivated by the work that I’ve done.  But hey at least I learned a lot.

To say the least, I thought I was taking a new lease on life in 2012. I just moved into my new/first apartment and I was ready to seize the day. Well I think I got seized or better yet punked. Less than a week into my new life and this is what happens. Oh well, there’s no need to be sad or depressed about this. I’ve been in far worse situations and by the grace of God I’ve made it out. So I am assured that God has his hands on this situation and he will direct my paths.

At least this momentary unemployment has presented the opportunity for me to blog more and will help me on my quest to find my “calling.” It’s no longer about a dead end job with no room for growth but more so about making it happen even when it seems like everything  happening around me is bad.

I came from very humble beginnings and I know that God has brought me a long way within just these few short years. I have struggled with a lot but I’ve also gained a lot in the process. I’ve been underestimated, tested, and disrespected but I am still grateful for all the things that God has done in my life.

So although this job is over; I’m excited to begin searching for a new one. And preferably it will be a job that pertains to my purpose and my calling. So I’m waving goodbye (emphatically actually) to a job that held me captive and saying hello to the doors that are being opened for me. Here’s to new beginnings…Unemployment Tales Soon To Come!!! Lol!!

                                                                                                                                #Still_Winning,

                                                                                                                                           Madame Surge
                                                                                                                                                                                       

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Working on a Saturday Night...



Such is life. I’m living and working. Working and trying to live. I just moved into my new spot. Allll by myself!!!! LoL!! It’s definitely a new experience but one I plan on enjoying to the fullest. Independence looks good on me. Well at least I believe it does UNTIL these bills start to kick in. My furniture arrived yesterday after I had slept on an air mattress for a whole week. (Looooong story + Sleepless Nights = No Bueno) Lol! But hey I’ll have a story to tell my kiddos one day! I’m really trying to get back into the blogging thing. But work has been kicking my arse! However, I will try and I will do my best to blog. But for right now, back to work I go. Until later!




And on a side note: Some man at Walmart told me I was sexy today! Lol! Yeah it  was Walmart! But hey that never happened in the other neck of the woods that I lived in. Before I was just stared at or chased around the grocery store by men that scared the dickens out of me! Yeah those experiences were definitely comical. Oh well..#movingonup ..LoL!
                                                                                    Ciao,



                                                                                    Madame Surge 

Monday, January 2, 2012

One of Those Days....


Project 100 is in full effect starting tomorrow. I’ve committed my mind and my spirit to getting it right and tight! (Wish me luck ya’ll!) I attempted to start my regimen this morning and I made a delicious greenish-purple smoothie that was actually quite tasty. I sat it in the freezer so that I could finish getting dressed before work and on my way out reached in and grabbed it……#EPIC FAIL. (Insert dramatic music) 

The darn thing fell to its death and splattered (flung itself, collapsed, cascaded…whatever the heck you want to call it, It’s no longer with us!) across the kitchen floor. So I was left with a green-purple ewwey googley mess spreading quickly across the kitchen floor. And to make matters worse, not even the cat would lick it up. (I guess it really was that bad :-(  ) So I then proceeded to take the next thirty minutes cleaning it up and trying to get things in order before I left for my “supposed” early day at work. And if you haven’t guessed it at this point, I’m actually quite livid. Such a lovely way to start the first day of work in the New Year, but I digress.

So Project 100 didn’t exactly go as planned today and because I don’t want to cheat myself (or possibly because I wanted some chips at lunch) I didn’t get started the way that I planned. But hey, tomorrows a new day and I plan on seizing it.




And as a sidenote, I listened to Beyonce’s "Schoolin Life" all the way to work (Yes, it was on repeat). I turned the volume sky high and sang at the top of my lungs as the driver next to me stared (likely wondering whether I was having some sort of spastic malfunction and whether EMS would need to be called) No matter what I made it to work in a better mood than when I left the house. (I didn't even cry as my freshly french manicured Shellac Nail flew across my desk as I reached for a case file....#Yup) So thanks Bey! PS: Does anyone know whether she’s had the baby or not. #Noseyppllikemewanttoknow  

So if you haven’t heard it, this is for you. Listen! Dance!  But most of all: SMILE! I’ve quickly discovered (should’ve realized long ago) we only have one life. I’ve made the decision to start living!


                                                                                                                Dramatically Yours,

                                                                                                                                    MadameSurge 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year: New Vision




Yup, that was my NYE #bejealous :-)


So nothing magical happened at midnight last night. I sat at home and talked to my cousin on the phone until the clock struck 12. (Yup, those are my bunny slippers) We did joyously yell out “Happy New Year” to one another at 12 and quickly realized that it’s time we make a change. But with this thought came a new revelation. I simply realized that it doesn’t take a new year to make a change. A new year (or a new you) begins when you choose it. Or better yet, when you desire it. Your new year can start on May 31st, September 21st or any day that you make up your mind to change.

I’ve contemplated my change for a long time. I’ve attempted it for awhile and at some point gave up. So in lieu of making New Year’s Resolutions I’ve committed to living a full life and not thinking twice about it. For so long, I’ve put things on hold because something in my life wasn’t right. I chose to wait until my “weight” was right and then I could do the things that I desired. Well guess what I haven’t gotten to the weight but I’ve made up my mind not to wait any longer.

I’ve realized that the “could’ve”, “would’ve”, “should’ves” have no place in my life. I’ve spent so much of my life asking “How have I grown?” “How have I changed?” never really seeing a change. I can honestly say that in 2011 I accomplished some feats that I had been battling for some time (#thankGod) but now that I’ve conquered those mountains it’s time to make new memories, accomplish new goals, and actually live. So in 20.12 my catch phrase is going to be #WTH! I’ve wasted too many years looking back while my destiny/future passed me by. The saying goes "life starts where your comfort zone ends", so I’m certainly about to strut out of my comfort zone. (And look oober cute while strutting btw) It’s time to make a life while I’m still living! When will your new year begin? What will you do? 


                                                                                                                                XOXO,
                                                                                                                                          

                                                                                                                                            MS.